I just noticed how dead  my blog is. But I kinda like it because of how it looks. I jumped from journal to other blog sites and finally I am deciding to stay on one which can just be typed through my iPod. A japanese blog. Maybe once I get better I would write in both japanese and english with translation and all.
I am not sure who will be reading this but I hope you will check out my new blog at http://ameblo.jp/yuintheng/

I will still be writing certain personal things in my journal. But of course after SPM, next year onwards I will try to blog everyday. <3

-YuinTheng- 雪
今しあわせです。

Suicide... -.-"

OKAY,
TO MAKE THIS CLEAR,
I POSTED ON FB,
AND NOW HERE..

I AM NOT GOING TO SUICIDE -.-"
Only idiots will do so...
Why should I waste the life god gave me?
I'm just repeating what I said in fb-.-"
anyways, NO MATTER HOW EMO I AM,
I WILL NOT JUMP OFF A BUILDING,
BECAUSE WHATEVER PROBLEMS I HAVE WILL NOT SOLVE THAT WAY,
I rather talk to my babes about it rather then have them and my family mourn for me -.-"
Unless I get hit by a car and died on the spot too bad -.-"
My friend once said that nobody knows what will happen.
Yeah, she thinks I might suicide because who knows.
Kinda true but, I hope I won't be so irrational.
Plus, PLUS,
Suiciding is just for those who can't run and feel vulnerable.
I have a big future ahead me.
I rather suffer than suicide and suffer few hundred years repeating the way I suicide,
I heard thats how things go..
HAHAHAHAHAHA,
No matter how sad I am,
I have my babes with me,
Thanks to my babe nata for last night,
I finally felt positive and happy again!
I was once an emo kid,
Unhappiness,
I even put a sisscors on my wrist,
But I didn't want to abandon everyone in my life,
So, I rather write it all down or say it all out to myself.
My "alter ego?"
HAHAHAHA, AT LEAST I DON'T GO JUMPING DOWN A BUILDING.x)
Plus, with all my babes with me I won't do anything stupid.
I hope xD My friends words are kinda scaring me maybe I will suicide.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
:D :D :D nahhhh x)
But if I do,
Just be sad for a day only my dears,
I don't want to see any tears for a person who doesn't deserve it.
If I even went to a decision to suicide,
Just don't even mourn for me -.-"
It's not even worth it -.-"
I abandon people with suiciding and they are mourning for me when I leave?
Wow.... HAHAHAHAHA
and, I'M NOT SUICIDING,
THIS POST IS CAUSE TWO PERSON ALREADY THINKS I WANT TO SUICIDE -.-"
THAT IS ALL -.-
Dang, I feel like punching them in the faces but who cares,
One of them isn't even worth it,
The other?
I don't know. xD
Tatax~
Need to find a way to get my ipod touchie~
OWH, AND BEFORE I FORGET,
I SAW A SNAIL THIS MORNING!!!!!!!!
IT'S HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Hahahahahaha, :D
So cute~~~~~~~
Anyways,
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D

-Yuki-

Thanks a lot...
Just forget all about them. Deleted the post.
It's not worth being upset for them.
Peace out~
Loves..

-Yuki-

Words?

Am I gonna abandon this blog again?
I don't know why..
So many things on my mind,
Questions,
I would love to type it all out but at the same time,
It's emotion has taken me to a level where I do not want to remember.
My mind goes blank when I type.
It goes blank when I want to think.
I just feel tired and want to let go and feel the breeze.
The stakes are high.
But my progressions are slow.

My homeworks are slowing down,
Keeping up with japanese,
School works,
Ain't an easy task.
Suffering these aren't anything big.
Just normal tensions.
It just gets better when I go training.
Running, exercises.
Whole body cramp but it's fun.
This fri, I'm going to continue to push myself.
Hope I can cope with it all.
After practise, tuition, homeworks, activities.
Plus, planning to join camps.

Felt lots of emotions.
Hurt, Reluctant, Sad, most of all... Angry.
I was hurt when I know I could not like him.
Reluctant when I couldn't make the right decision.
Sad when I told my friend to convince me about something stupid.
Angry.... about how stupid I could be all this time.
I want to turn back time.
I feel sorry for the people I abandon.
Sorry for myself.

I don't want to friend them back but I just wish those happy moments just stayed and never moved.
The way they say things to me just prove how much they don't know me.
Every time I mention their flaws, it just means how much they meant to me once.
I could not forget tiny bits of memories with them.
It just reminded me of a year I've been through.
This is just stupid.
I don't want to mention about them yet I am right now.
My mind is all messed up.

I want to travel around the world.
I just want peace and happiness.
Every second is worth to treasure rather then feeling sad and waste time just like that.
However, I can't stop myself.
I hope I can travel right now, right this moment.
Dump everything else aside.
Important or unimportant,
Dumping it all and relaxing.
Feeling the breeze on the beach,
the scent of the sea that just calms me.
I guess I'm not that into a pack schedule.
If I can't survive this.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
How will I ever survive the entertainment industry....

Flashbacks.

I've been thinking a lot these days,
Friends, Valentines, most of all, Music.

For *them*
I don't want to recall memories with any of them and luckily,
It's fading away,
As for my schoolmates,
Went to a lot of parties,
Have loads of homeworks but almost done.. I think.
Got tuition later,

Valentines,
0 valentine haha of course,
Who would like me ~ x)
I bet he have his gifts.
I kept telling myself to forget him.
I just don't like them and don't see any chance for me to like either of them.
Stupid me, why must I be so naive.
Keep my distance idiot!
Study is most important!!!!!!!!!!! x)

Volleyball...
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
DID PHYSICALLLLL ..
That was fun, tiring, painful and awesome.
Thanks to R.Z.'s words, "Pain is pleasure"
I went for practise ...
HAHAHAHA,
Anyways..

Lastly, music,
touched me a lot these days,
Feeling emotional,
I want a song that can express me well but so far I just rather hear them.
I notice there was a voice casting but I found out it was due.
But, it was for a malay drama I think.
*phew*?
But, now the thing thats on my mind is how much I can last.
My homeworks,
Exams.
They will all be number 1 after my volleyball comp.,
Choir comp.
Want to join this coming's choral speaking's audition.
This is gonna be a tough year and I'm ready!
Give you best !
You can do it!! x)

STUDY!!

Have to focus on studies way more than anything now.
Stop thinking about nonesense.
I'm just an idiot,
Aren't those story enough to hold on this feelings?
I should have known that knowing you more will make me go deeper,
I never imagined this to happen so quick,
Guess shuld just keep my distance from now.
REMEMBER HOLD YOURSELF IDIOT!
You have lots of things to do idiot,
Japanese exams,
School!!!
Gosh,
I think I can't even breathe this year,
my pay back for relaxing to much,
I have to study for exam !
do not go out anymore! :)
No sunway and anything!
giving all my ang pau money to my mama,
For my ipod touch 4... x)
My sacrifice,
I need to do my homework tonight,
Not going to online,
No more facebook addiction!
Need to do some push ups first then start studying some japanese,
Then add maths homework
and science,
So on...
So many things I want to blog and not hide my feelings but I can't use to com much,
Going out tomorrow too.
I hope, I can handle all of this.
Give me the strength ...
Love ya..
Got to go
Dinner..

There is just so many things I want to say,
Lets start off with tonight.
Kinda a fun night at the twins house.
Watched the fireworks.
It was awesome..
and beautiful.
:)

Then the fun part,
Singing with the choir members while nafieq played the piano~ :)
Then all the shouting calling out numbers from gambling.. x)
I won at first then I lost... x( x(
This is sad! x(

Anyways,
Don't know what else to say need to sleep early and got class tomorrow.
So many thoughts in my mind.. haha
Back to realiti...
Gosh,
My heart is beating for someone.
Feeling upset about my hand but I will pray for it.
Please heal... x)
I wanna play volleyball again~ :)