Words?

Am I gonna abandon this blog again?
I don't know why..
So many things on my mind,
Questions,
I would love to type it all out but at the same time,
It's emotion has taken me to a level where I do not want to remember.
My mind goes blank when I type.
It goes blank when I want to think.
I just feel tired and want to let go and feel the breeze.
The stakes are high.
But my progressions are slow.

My homeworks are slowing down,
Keeping up with japanese,
School works,
Ain't an easy task.
Suffering these aren't anything big.
Just normal tensions.
It just gets better when I go training.
Running, exercises.
Whole body cramp but it's fun.
This fri, I'm going to continue to push myself.
Hope I can cope with it all.
After practise, tuition, homeworks, activities.
Plus, planning to join camps.

Felt lots of emotions.
Hurt, Reluctant, Sad, most of all... Angry.
I was hurt when I know I could not like him.
Reluctant when I couldn't make the right decision.
Sad when I told my friend to convince me about something stupid.
Angry.... about how stupid I could be all this time.
I want to turn back time.
I feel sorry for the people I abandon.
Sorry for myself.

I don't want to friend them back but I just wish those happy moments just stayed and never moved.
The way they say things to me just prove how much they don't know me.
Every time I mention their flaws, it just means how much they meant to me once.
I could not forget tiny bits of memories with them.
It just reminded me of a year I've been through.
This is just stupid.
I don't want to mention about them yet I am right now.
My mind is all messed up.

I want to travel around the world.
I just want peace and happiness.
Every second is worth to treasure rather then feeling sad and waste time just like that.
However, I can't stop myself.
I hope I can travel right now, right this moment.
Dump everything else aside.
Important or unimportant,
Dumping it all and relaxing.
Feeling the breeze on the beach,
the scent of the sea that just calms me.
I guess I'm not that into a pack schedule.
If I can't survive this.
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How will I ever survive the entertainment industry....